Coffins and Confetti

It suddenly struck me that I'm an endless contradiction. I mean, seriously! My tastes in anything and everything is a confused mirage. Could it be possible that I'm suffering from a mild MPD? Ah no! No way, it is a very big, scary and spooky term to use and only silly looking doctors in movies use such terms. I will convince myself that I'm perfectly normal and it is the world that is a little deranged. Ha! How does that sound.

Anyway, the dear reader here (if any) will be wondering what made me come to such conclusions. So, for the benefit of the dear reader (again, if any), I will explain.

I have these sudden influx of emotions, like a wave that wash my insides, leaving me completely blank. In those moments, I wish I could roll into a small black ball and vanish completely. What can be worse than feeling pain? Feeling numb, of course! Life has been a 'fun' roll-a-coaster ride so far. It has thrown me into ruts and gutters and occasionally lifted me and shown some sunshine. But there again, the rare visit by the Sun is only to let the darkness lingering and sneaking just around the corner pinch me harder... even darker...even sinister.

Many times, I don't know what I do. For instance, why would I spend a fortune buying pink shoes and later spend another fortune buying black boots? Certainly, there is some conflict of emotions here. If not, there is definitely conflict of colours! I want to scream my feelings out, at the same time I want to be the mystery no one understands. I like Carnatic music, but my instinct tilts its head towards Goth metal. I love death and decay, but also love smiles and sunshine. I will sell my soul for Sylvia Plath but I would also sell my favourite shoe for Wordsworth.

Hmph...anyway if the dear reader has travelled this far, I'm sure they are bored by my contradictions. So what do I do? Honestly, I don't think I'm that crazy to enrol for counselling, but what if my insides are torn everyday? I want to confirm in this non-conformist world. Or do I? Do I really care?

I have a recurring dream of falling of a cliff. I constantly fall, forever, never to hit the ground. In the process of this eternal fall, I can feel the grainy drizzle that surrounds me. My feet can still feel the wetness from the grass I just left behind. It is a beautiful image, for a painter to brush on, for a poet to pen about. But what about the one who really falls? No answers, just eternal silence. I guess I just have to remember the dream and remain silent. For now, there is some confetti. However, the coffin is not far away.

Never really worked so hard, never felt so good!

I never used to believe that shifting house is a big deal. Not until I had to experience that myself. Packing, moving, loading and unloading, setting things...phew even the mere listing makes me tired.

Last week was entirely occupied in packing. We then got a decent movers to shift. The moving experience was priceless. Though the movers offered us a seat in the front of the van, we insisted that we wanted to sit behind. It was so much fun to travel that way. It felt free, like flying, except when there were speed breakers! Then it felt like we were going to break our backs.

Once we moved totally in, we knew about the water scarcity. Then I was warmly welcomed by two fully grown lizards in my bathroom (yuck!) and in the balcony I saw a huge lizard, so huge that I mistook it for a rat. Then started the hunt for carpenter to fix a mesh in all the bathrooms and ventilators.

On the moving day, we walked across our street a million times, to buy milk, to find carpenter, to buy fans and bulbs and what not! I was a little uncomfortable with the place and the thought of whether we made the right decision to move was clogging my head. That night, I almost broke down. The next day was yet again hectic with carpentry work.

We then went to a near by lake with two other friends. It was such a relief, to talk about something other than house and shifting. When I came back, I felt like I lost five pounds of worry :)

The story now- totally comfortable, thanking God every single moment and praying that this house will make us thank Him over and over again :) Really happy, that I can't stop smiling even at work!

Finally

Finally... we found a house. Yes! Someone actually believed that we are harmless after all, and definitely not capable to eating the house. So, he agreed to rent out his precious house to us. We were so happy that we couldn't believe this happened. In fact, I was a little numb when he agreed to give us the house. The news took days to sink in.

At first, I was confused. 'What? Someone is giving us a house? Can this be true or will he change his mind?' But he gladly took the advance and was pretty happy with us. We would have made countless trips to the new house to see the place, the locality and shops. We thought we can manage. Every visit was like a big adventure, packed with a lot of expectations and anxiety about how the neighbours will look at us and will we be welcomed.

It looked like all was settled. Then started the hunt for packers and movers. To our shock, packing and moving costs was almost double the rent we paid. I couldn't believe packing and moving charges will be so high. It was yet another big head ache. Then we asked the new owner about packing services. He offered to help us and referred a good moving company. His charge was less than half of what we estimated. Yet another joy! 'Life, after all, can be sweet', I thought.

Sin to be single?

Never really faced the brunt of being a single working woman. Well, technically I'm not single but currently living with a roomate. But, my question is- is that a crime???

Life can't be any worse for me, especially at this state. I have not found a house for a really really long time. Yesterday we went to see a house. Disaster! I can't believe someone has the guts to actually offer a rotten house like that for rent. So, chucked that. We were really backing on house. A beautiful charming house. Then the bad news arrived...

'Sorry, cant really give the house for single girls' It came like a blow, like someone threw ice cold water on my face. What? I thought, what do they mean by cant offer a house for single girls? Do they know who we are and what we do? What do they think we are? What nonsense and what a lame excuse! It's not like two single women can eat the house!

Next blow- In the peak of desperation we went door to door asking watchmen if there are vacant flats. One very intelligent creature started barking at us (I'm not referring to a dog). 'Look at them, two girls roaming in the night like this.'

'What do you mean by that, you insensitive lout' I wanted to ask. I asked him very politely if there are houses, he barks 'Did you see any to-let boards? What are you doing here...bow bow bow' YUCK! What a pain. Well, honestly I don't understand his language. But I could make out what he barked and understood his point (which is nonsensical).

Current state- Living with rats, roaches, lizards and you name it, in the present house and still looking for the house. Skimmed Google search results for hours. We now know the names of all property finder sites. Will lady luck smile at us? Just glad that dinosaurs are extinct!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

There is so much hype about the release of the 7th and final book in the Harry Potter series. Just 88 days more for the release and there are numerous fan versions available online and offline. I read one of the verions and I must admit that it is really good. However, there is too much emphasis on the romace between Ginny and Harry. Even HBP wasn't entirely for kids, the original audience of JRK. However, a valid argument would be to say that Harry Potter is getting old and so will his audience. JKR can no longer write assuming that Harry is 11!

Coming back to the fan versions, what if JKR does not come up with a book that is as good as this one? Is that possible? Is it possible that she has exhausted her imagination? I feel that Order of the Phoenix was not as good as Goblet of Fire, Half-blood Prince though was better than OotP, was not as good as the previous four.

There is also a growing concern that JRK is writing more for the movie than for the book.
The awe and wonder that was an integral part of her first four books seem to be missing in the last two. Can we hope that the final one will be the best? Can we place that high a burden on her. In the first three books, she never had this huge burden of pleasing the readers. With the growing popularity of the characters, it looks like her responsibility has become multi-fold.

All that we can do now is to wait for the book and see how she ends the story. (Can she really end the story? Harry will always be alive and living in my heart)

My Dreams and Goals

Being brought up in a family that strongly believes in compassion and respect to other living beings, I developed an early love for animals. Like any other child, I was unaware of actions that cause pain to others. I still remember the incident when I hit a small chick and my father came rushing out. He then gave me a long lecture about how animals can also feel pain, love, loneliness, compassion and basically every other emotion a human is capable of feeling. It was then that I realized the gravity of my action on the chick.

I believe in the saying that animals are not ours to kill, eat or torture. What I need from my life is to see a world that is more tolerant and compassionate towards animals. Just because they do not express pain in any of the languages we understand it doesn’t mean we can harm them. We can still see the pain through its actions; after all, whether or not we know Malay or Swahili, we can still understand the expression of pain, can’t we? What bothers me the most is the lack of human sensitivity towards animals.

What I am really inclined to do is to spread awareness about animal welfare. It is not possible to eliminate harm, but we can definitely minimize it. However long it takes, I will definitely involve myself in actively educating and spreading awareness and making people more sensitive towards animal welfare. I am already a member of PeTA and other animal welfare organizations. The fact that I feel strongly towards a cause fuels me to work towards it. I always wondered what I will make of my life when I grew up, but now I have a cause to work for and it is something that I feel passionately about.

Joing PeTA India and fight for animal rights! Visit www.petaindia.com

Reducing Automobile Pollution

The number of automobiles has increased over the decades. Gone are the days when owning a car or a two wheeler was considered a luxury. In fact, they have become a necessity these days. City boundaries are ever expanding and people have to travel far and wide for education, work, recreation and so on. But, the biggest side effect of this is pollution. Air pollution is considered one of the biggest forms of pollution. Cities have the highest rate of air pollution followed by industrial town. The side effects of pollution are a never ending list. Ranging from health hazards to killing our environment, they have done enough damage and will continue to do so.

One of the most effective ways to combat automobile pollution is obviously to reduce the use of automobiles. People must learn to use alternative methods or transportation such as cycles and even resort to walking. In addition to keeping pollution under check, cycling and walking also helps us to keep fit as they are an excellent form of exercise. Furthermore, automobiles must go in for a pollution check regularly to make sure that their vehicle is in terms with government regulations. Alternatively, using public mode of transport wherever and whenever possible is yet another way to contribute in reducing pollution.

Another effective alternative would be to use solar vehicles. They have dual purpose of not only controlling pollution but also using a renewable energy. Therefore, they tackle both the problems of pollution and energy exhaustion. Never ever use leaded petrol. Not only do they cause air pollution, but they also totally mess up with your vehicle. Switching over to LPG can also reduce air pollution if not totally eliminate it. Automobile owners must also ensure that their vehicle is repaired and replaced regularly. Old and worn out vehicles consume more fuel and emit more pollution causing gases. We can thus ensure that we are doing our best to save this one planet that we have.